©Becca

Chapter XXI

Through the smoke, movement caught Noah's dark eyes and he watched wordlessly as Louise struggled to sit up from her prone position on the ground.  Suddenly, the enormity of what had just happened began to impress itself upon his mind.  He looked from Kid's fallen body to the weary, beaten woman.  Someone needed to keep her from seeing what had happened while the others dealt with their fallen friend's body.  Normally, Noah would have suggested Jimmy look to Lou, but the man was on his knees next to Kid, staring unseeingly at the body in a state of shock.  Quickly he rushed to Lou's side and sat with his back to the others before hiding her head against his chest.  He heard her painful moan as he embraced her, effectively blocking the sight behind him from her eyes.  "Don't look, sweetheart," he whispered huskily, anguish keeping his voice tight.

Lou struggled against Noah's hold trying to look around, wanting to know what had happened but dreading what she might see.  Noah's voice told her it wasn't good.  "I've gotta look, Noah," she complained.  "I have to find Jon and...."

Tears he couldn't hold back squeezed out of Noah's eyes.  "Just don't look, honey," he repeated, rocking her slightly.

"Don't look at what?" Louise asked in a frightened voice. "Noah, what happened?"  She was greeted with ominous silence as the dark-skinned rider was unable to actually voice the fears she knew were now her living nightmare.  A deeper sickness than mere nausea pervaded her body and Lou felt a desperation bordering on hysteria beginning to rise.  "Let me see, dammit!  What happened?  Why won't you tell me what happened?" she begged.  "Please, Noah I have to know what's going on."

Inside the shack, Jon's quieting fear had given way to pure terror at the sound of so many gunshots and he began to scream for his mother.  Lou pushed away from Noah with a burst of energy.  "I have to get Jon," she insisted as she rose.  The sight she beheld was enough to make her sink back to her knees weakly.  Lou looked in absolute horror at Kid lying unmoving in the dust, the blood from the bullet's entrance staining his shirt a dark brown.  Dimly she heard the sound of a wagon approaching, as a roaring began in her ears. No, no, no, no, no, her mind repeated over and over, hoping that if she just wished hard enough she'd wake up from the nightmare to find him lying next to her bleary-eyed and concerned because she'd awakened him with her screams again.

The sound of Lou's soft voice murmuring the word no over and over roused Jimmy slightly from the emptiness that had filled him.  Looking up, he watched as she crawled pell mell over to Kid, her voice growing stronger with each step until she was screaming as she reached for him.  Jimmy knew he'd never heard the like.  It wasn't the high pitched, shrill scream of most ladies nor the angry, cursing scream she'd used several days before when Jon'd been kidnapped and Charlotte killed.  No, this was a gutteral, wild thing that had a life of its own as it echoed and reverberated off the very rocks and chilled the soul.

Rachel had heard the shots and come as soon as they'd ended, bringing the wagon just in case.  She'd come intending to get Jon and they'd all go back to the station happily ever after like they always did.  She could never have imagined the sight that awaited her.  Rachel pulled the wagon to a halt and watched with one hand over her mouth as Louise crawled over to Kid, who lay sprawled on the ground.  A chill ran down her back as Louise screamed, the sound pushing her into action.  She got down from the wagon and quickly crossed to the younger woman's side pulling her forcefully into her embrace.  "Shh, shh, shh, baby," Rachel soothed.

Seeing Rachel appear, spurred Teaspoon and Sam into action.  Just because the man was down and unmoving didn't necessarily mean he was dead.  Teaspoon needed to feel the absent pulse beneath his fingertips before he'd believe his "son" was gone forever.

Sam gestured to one of his men with medical experience and the man quickly moved to examine Kid.  When he got there, however, Louise wouldn't let him near Kid.  Frantically, she burst from Rachel's hold yelling at the man not to touch him.  She ran her hands over Kid's face and down his torso as if her touch were enough to heal him, as if her touch needed to affirm her sight.  This isn't Kid, she thought.  But it looks like him, her brain answered. Oh, God it feels like him!

Cody, who'd crawled down from his birds' eye view, watched with anguished, guilty tears trailing down his face.  He knelt next to Lou and placed a hand on her shoulder, the uncharacteristic gentleness touching Lou as words couldn't.  Looking up into his face, she let him pull her away slightly with a nod to the deputy.  The man reached in and placed a knowing hand on the artery in Kid's neck.  He sighed and shook his head slightly.

Lou pulled away from Cody unable to believe that this man could be so cruel as to joke with her like this.  "Liar!" she spat.  "How can you do this?  Why would you pretend something so horrible?!"  In a burst of adrenaline, Lou heaved Kid's body over so that he was face up and began touching him again, smoothing back his hair and patting his face in an attempt to wake him.  "Kid, wake up, please," she begged.

When there was no response, her actions grew rougher until she was shaking his shoulders, the blood from his wound covering her hands.  "Kid, please, don't go.  Don't you dare go.  Don't leave me please!  I can't do this by myself.  Kid!"

"It's too late, sweetheart," Teaspoon said gently, his head bowed.  "He's gone."

Rachel tried to take the girl back into her arms again.  "Let him be," she pleaded.  "Just close your eyes and remember him, remember the two of you together.  Don't see him like this, Lou."

"Don't you dare say he's gone!" Lou screamed at them.  "He is not gone.  I won't let him go!  I can't let him go.  You hear me Kid?  I don't wanna do this without you!"  By the end, she was sobbing as she pleaded with him, his face in her hands, to breathe.  A desperate anger seized her.  How dare he leave her alone to raise his child!  Lou brought her hand down on his chest hard.  "Breathe, goddamn you, breathe!"

The men ringed around the body were astonished as she vehemently beat against the Kid's chest.  Cody grabbed for Lou's hands even as Jimmy wrapped his arms around her from behind, trapping her upper arms against her body.  "Lou stop it!" he ordered.  "You ain't gonna bring 'im back."  Oh, how he wished she could.  Jimmy buried his face against the top of Lou's head.  The world was spinning out of control, upside down.  It should've been me, Jimmy thought nauseously.  This is my death not Kid's. He's supposed to grow old with Lou raising horses and babies on a ranch somewhere not dying like a criminal in the dirt.  Kid hadn't even been armed. He was right in front of you, Hickok.  You should've moved faster, pushed him outta the way, taken the bullet for him, ya shoulda done SOMETHING.  Anything but this.  How many times has he saved your lousy ass and you couldn't watch his back just this once?

Lou began to wail at the Kid pulling away from Jimmy vehemently.  "No, you are not gonna do this to me, Kid!  I won't let you.  You can't make me fall in love with you and then die on me.  Oh, God, I need you," she sobbed.  "We were gonna do this together--you and me and the gremlins, remember?  Don't leave me, Kid, please!  Why won't you just BREATHE?!"

There was another loud thud as she brought her fist down on his chest followed by a soft, but unmistakable inhale.  For a moment no one moved or spoke.  When that tentative breath was followed by another and another and yet another, the signs of life spurred everyone into action.  Another of Sam's men ran for the wagon, bringing it closer as the men slowly and gently lifted Kid into it.  Rachel dragged Louise with her into the shack to collect Jon.  Jon fairly jumped into his mother's arms and Louise held him tight, sobbing hard as the two women rejoined the men.  As they approached the wagon, the adrenaline that had been pumping through Louise's body, covering the pain of her injuries wore off and she was in renewed agony made worse by her earlier desperate movements.

Lou felt her knees give way and Rachel rescued Jon as Jimmy swung her up into his arms carefully and placed her delicately into the wagon bed.  As Jimmy moved away, she maneuvered so that Kid's head lay in her lap.  Her left hand lay pressing against his chest, her right stroking his hair and touching his face as she prayed.  "I swear I'll do anythin', God if you just let him live. I know I made a lotta bad decisions in the past but I wanna make things right.  Please!" she pleaded, her tears falling into Kid's hair.  The wagon began rolling in earnest with Teaspoon at the reins as they bumped and rolled along at a breakneck pace.

The ride lasted an eternity and then some.  Lou held her breath with each bump along the uneven road.  She listened intently to each breath he took, matching her own breathing to his.  Her whole world centered on each labored breath he took.  Her heart nearly stopped a couple times when she couldn't feel his chest move.  Quickly Lou brought her hand up before his face and nearly burst into renewed sobbing as his light, warm breath tickled her palm.  Breathe and pray, pray and breathe.  It seemed the cycle and the ride would never end but suddenly they were stopping and the boys were taking him from her.  Jimmy was there again lifting her from the wagon and steadying her on her feet with a sturdy arm around her.  People floated in and out of her vision like a dream.  Her knees buckled again and she felt herself falling.

With a slight jump, Lou opened her eyes to find herself staring at the wooden bottom of the bunk above her.  Her mouth was dry and her head pounded fiercely.  As she experimentally stretched her limbs, she felt sore muscles tu and the tell-tale tenderness of bruising along her back and hip.  She hurt but knew she'd be okay in a couple days if she took it easy.  Ain't nearly as bad as that time Simon tossed me down the staircase at the Gold Dust, she thought sarcastically.

Lou felt the mattress sink next to her and turned her head to see Rachel peering down at her, a relieved smile on the housekeeper's lips.  "Well, you certainly gave us all a scare young lady," she admonished gently.  "Didn't know if you were gonna be joinin' us again.  How do you feel?"

"Like I been beat up again," she murmured.  Lou's memory of what had happened was a little fuzzy, but she remembered madison beating her, the posse showing up, Kid getting shot....  Kid getting shot?!  "Oh, God, Kid!" she exclaimed suddenly, struggling to sit up.  "Rachel, how is he?  Is he...?  Tell me he's all right!"

"Shh, shh.  Take it easy, Louise.  A lot's happened," Rachel replied.  "First of all, Kid's fine.  He's awake and worryin' about you already.  The bullet went clean through and Doc said it looked worse than it was.  He's supposed to take it easy for a while and he'll probably have some stiffness with the change in weather, but he'll be fine."

"How's Jon?  Oh, the baby!"  Louise gently touched her abdomen beneath the nightgown she wore, but she couldn't be sure if she was still pregnant or not.  Tears welled in her eyes as she turned to face Rachel again.

The older woman smiled gently and took Lou's face in her hands.  "Two months and counting, still," she said conspiratorally.  "But, Doc says that you must take it easy for the duration.  That means no riding, no heavy housework, no lifting, plenty of rest and good eating.  He said that you did a very good job of protecting the baby.  All Madison's blows were on your back and face, a couple bruises on your hips but nothin' to worry about."

Lou sighed, breathing a prayer of thanks.  "How long have I been asleep?" she asked.

"Four days."

"Four days!!"

Rachel laughed.  "Yes, four days.  Guess that baby decided he needed some sleep too and made you sleep long enough for both of ya.  As for Jon," she sighed, "he's copin'.  He's outside helpin' Theresa feed the chickens."

As if they'd heard Louise and Rachel discussing them, the door opened admitting Theresa and Jon.  The boy was walking very deliberately, almost tiptoeing into the bunkhouse, his eyes riveted on something in his little hands.  He was so focused that he nearly ran into the table and only looked up when Theresa exclaimed happily, "Louise, you're awake!"

"Mama!" jon squealed, nearly squeezing the life from the tiny kitten he held. He ran headlong towards the bunk and clambered up, Rachel rescuing the kitten from certain death caused by his over-enthusiastic greeting.  He flung his arms around Lou's neck holding tightly.  "You not sleepin' no more."  Jon pulled back and pointed to the kitten Rachel held.  "Lookee, Mama I foun' kee-cats.  Nice kee-cat," he said, reaching out and petting the kitten backwards.

Lou smiled.  The poor kitten looked terrified of the two-year-old.  "I see you found kittens. Where were they hiding?"

Theresa set the basket she carried on the floor.  It was full of the rest of the litter including the mother cat.  She hurriedly rushed over to hug her sister.  "We found them in the hen house in a nest," she replied grinning.  "I thought you'd never wake up.  Aunt Emma told us about the baby.  Is everythin' okay?"

"Everythin's fine, sugar bear," Louise assured her. "Just needed a little nap is all."

"Daddy sleepin' too," Jon said quietly, lifting a hushing finger to his lips.  He looked at his mother in confusion.  "Mama, why you sleepin' in Daddy's bed?"

Rachel tousled the boy's already disarrayed auburn curls.  "You daddy doesn't mind 'cause he's sleepin' over in the big house.  Remember, Jon, we said that Daddy had been sick and needed the quiet to get better?"

"Oh, yeah, I fordot," he said shrugging his shoulders like he'd seen Kid do.  "We go see Daddy, Mama?  Pease!"  Jon lowered his voice to a loud whisper.  "I be real quiet.  Pease!"

Lou smiled and hugged him close.  He was already losing that baby smell.  Life was moving on.  She'd been given a second chance with everyone and Louise McCloud was definitely going to make the most of it.  No more hiding anymore, she decided firmly.  "After dinner, baby," she answered the toddler.  "I promise we'll go see Daddy after dinner."

She met Rachel's eyes eagerly.  The housekeeper nodded and smiled warmly at the sentiment she saw in Louise's eyes.  It was the first time Lou had ever verbally acknowledged Kid's place in Jon's heart.  Rachel kissed her patient's forehead as she rose, humming merrily as she returned to the task of preparing dinner.  She just knew things were going to change around the small farm in the coming days and the changes would have nothing to do with the advent of the telegraph.

To chapter 22
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