©Becca

Chapter XII

Teaspoon exited the bunkhouse and gestured for Sam to follow him to the house. Wordlessly, they walked onto the porch. Teaspoon politely rapped on the front door before pushing it open. As they entered they could hear Lou's quiet sobs and the murmurs of Rachel and Emma as they comforted her. The older man drew the younger territorial marshal into the kitchen. "You were right, Sam. Kid knew most of it except for the part about the contract and Madison's operation," Teaspoon said uneasily. He'd thought he knew his "boys," that they felt comfortable enough to trust him with anything. It bothered him more than a little that Louise and Kid had kept this secret from him. It bothered Teaspoon more that Kid hadn't told any of them about being involved in Wicks' death however unwittingly. "I'm sendin' the Kid and Lou to Seneca to collect her boy and brother and sister. You'd agree that it's better they're here under our protection than out there with Madison on the loose?"

"I know she'd feel better knowin' he's here with her," Sam replied. He glanced into the parlor to see Lou ensconced in Emma's arms, her sobs quieted, but still looking shaken. "Is it just me or is there somethin' goin' on between those two? Kid and Lou I mean?"

Teaspoon threw up his hands in resignation. "Damned if I know what's goin' on between them," he sighed. "I ain't never seen two people more suited for each other but more unwilling to admit they care. That boy just can't seem to see the forest for the trees. Hell, Sam he lied for her and Kid don't lie for anybody."

"You think it's smart to send them off together? She didn't look too thrilled with him when we rode up."

"Well, they may not like each other right now, but if there's one thing I know, it's that they'll at least watch out for each other. They may try to kill each other on the way but woe to anyone else who tries to do it instead."

The two men walked into the parlor just as Emma finished retelling the story of why they'd returned. Lou remained in silence even as Teaspoon and Sam shared their plan with her. When they were finished, Lou merely nodded and left without a word.

Kid couldn't take his mind off the argument he and Lou had had that afternoon. He'd tried everything from going for a ride to currying Katy. He still could think of nothing else even as he placed another block of wood onto the stump and hefted the axe in his hand. The preoccupied rider brought the axe down with a quick, hard swing, the block splitting unevenly. All afternoon, Kid had wracked his brain trying to figure out how Amber had found out about Jon. He would swear on his life that he'd never mentioned him to the woman. Nevertheless, somehow she'd found out and now that Lou knew Amber knew, Kid was afraid that the close relationship he had with Lou, whatever it was, was inexplicably altered. She'll never trust me again, he thought and the knowledge that they may never be the same both frightened and saddened him beyond words.

Kid dropped the pieces of wood onto the rather large pile he'd chopped as Rachel emerged from the bunkhouse to ring the dinner bell. There were no words as he and the other riders washed up in the basin outside before going in to sit at the table. He noticed painfully that Lou deliberately sat at the far end and opposite side of the table from him...next to Jimmy. He couldn't help but see the glare Jimmy sent his way as well. Kid sighed loudly as Ike passed the bowl of peas to him. Just seemed like he couldn't do anything right today.

The others tried desperately to keep up the conversation and shatter the gloom over them all. Sam and Emma tried to catch up on the happenings at the waystation as well as getting to know both Rachel and Noah who hadn't been there before. Underneath all the talk was an awareness of the looks passing between Jimmy, Kid, and Lou. Lou only spoke softly to Jimmy, Jimmy glared at Kid for upsetting Lou, and Kid tried desperately to gain Lou's attention with his apologetic looks.

Finally, Cody couldn't take it anymore. He had so many questions after the day's events and he just couldn't see not asking them. "So, Lou," he started, causing the others to groan inwardly. Cody looked around at the disparaging looks he was getting. "What? I was just gonna say that now that we all know about Lou's little guy, she might as well tell us about 'im. How old is he for starters?"

"Two-and-a-half," Lou said quietly. Normally she was more than willing to talk about her son, the light of her life. But, she was so embarassed that they'd found out about him that she couldn't think of anything else. For the first time, she was truly ashamed that someone knew she had a son. She just knew they were all wondering about his father, wondering if she even knew who his father was.

Emma who sat next to Lou smiled encouragingly at her. "He's still a baby then. Does he talk yet?"

Who will he call Daddy, Lou wondered for what seemed like the thousandth time. She abruptly stood from the table. "I'm sorry Emma, but I can't talk about this," she said. "Excuse me, please." Lou hurried from the bunkhouse.

"Lou!" Kid couldn't help but call her name as he attempted to go after her. He started for the door only to be met by Jimmy's frame blocking the exit.

"I don't think she really wants to talk to you right now," Jimmy said softly. He couldn't blame Kid for trying to go after her. He'd seen Kid trying to beg Lou's forgiveness with a look like he used to be able to do. Those two could have a whole conversation with their eyes without saying a word that was how close they were. Jimmy had spent the afternoon dealing with his guilt over hiding the wanted poster. If he'd taken it to Teaspoon like he should have, then maybe they would've been able to come up with a better plan and keep Lou from suffering so much embarassment. He looked into Kid's worried and angry eyes and couldn't help but place a calming hand on his friend's arm. "I'll put in a good word for ya Kid," he said so only Kid could hear before following Lou outside.

Kid stood staring at the door after they'd left, his emotions in a turmoil. There she goes runnin' to Jimmy again, he thought bitterly. She'd run to you if you hadn't violated her trust. But how? How did I start all this without even doing anything? Somehow he had a feeling that a talk with Amber would answer many of his questions. Without another word, he left the bunkhouse also and headed to the barn to saddle Katy, the one woman in his life he hadn't alienated yet.

Jimmy found Lou leaning against the side of the bunkhouse, her head buried in her hands. Slowly he approached her so as not to startle her. "Lou, you okay?" In the darkness, he could see the shadow of her head shake in the negative. With a sigh he looped an arm around her thin shoulders and was suddenly struck again by how small and fragile she looked.

"How could he, Jimmy? It's bad enough he told people but Amber?"

He gave her shoulders a squeeze and kissed her hair softly. "Just between you and me, I know she's turned over a new leaf and all, but I still don't trust that gal," he said. "Maybe Kid's tellin' the truth and he didn't tell her."

Lou turned her tear-shiny face up to his. "Then how'd she find out?"

"I don't know, Lou, but have you ever known Kid to lie except when he's playin' poker? Even then he ain't too good at it."

They were interrupted for a moment as the bunkhouse door opened and Kid exited heading off in the direction of the barn. A few minutes later, he left again on Katy. Lou followed him with her eyes until she could no longer make out Katy's white splotches in the dark. "There he goes off to Amber's again," she muttered darkly. "I don't get it, Jimmy. How can he say and act like he cares about me and then turn around and go to her? Can't care about me too much if he's still with her."

Jimmy shook his head with a half smile. "Kid does care about you Lou more than you know. Just because a man's with a woman don't necessarily mean he loves her," he said in a brotherly fashion.

"I know that Jimmy," Lou replied in annoyance. "I of all people understand that people come together for all sorts of reasons, not always out of love, but Kid's different. And if he has all these feelin's for me like you say then why don't he just come out and say it instead of drivin' me crazy?"

"'Cause he's scared," Jimmy replied softly.

Lou looked at him suddenly as if he'd just grown a foot out of his ear. "Kid's scared of little ole' me?" she asked incredulously. "Now I find that hard to believe."

Jimmy's finger gently tipped her chin up to look at him as he smiled down at her. His heart swelled with emotions he knew he could never reveal to her. "It's true. You're the one thing in this world he's afraid of. It's not really you so much as gettin' his heart broke or losin' you. It can be mighty scary tellin' a girl you love them. Sometimes it's easier just to not say anythin'. If you love somebody enough, you're willin' to be part of their lives in any way you can, so much that you ain't willin' to risk losin' your place by bein' honest."

He wouldn't be the only one afraid of gettin' their heart broken, Lou thought with a flutter to her stomach. She thought about the argument they'd had and how vehemently he'd denied telling Amber about Jon. I was too hard on him, she thought. Why do I do that--taking everything so personally. Lou realized she was afraid of Kid too, afraid of getting her hopes up only to have them shattered, afraid of letting someone in so close that they could hurt her if they wanted, afraid of hurting him. "How do you know all this Jimmy?" she asked, suddenly curious. "When did you become such a fountain of wisdom?"

Hickok shrugged awkwardly. "Thought a lot about it. Been there myself at times." He suddenly smiled guiltily. "And Kid told me," he admitted. "Give him another chance, Lou, at least a chance to explain things. Who knows maybe this little ride to Seneca could be just what the doctor ordered."

She still wasn't thrilled with the idea of spending two days riding to and from Seneca with the Kid after their argument. Lou envisioned hours of awkward silence punctuated only by the sound of their horses' hooves. "Yeah, Doctor Hunter's castor oil," Lou said sarcastically.

Margaret Scott opened the door to the large, white two-story ranch house, a smile lighting her face as she saw who stood on her porch. "Why, Kid! Please come in," she said gesturing for him to enter the house. "We were just havin' desert in the dinin' room if you'd care for some cobbler. I know Amber'll be thrilled to see you."

Kid quickly took off his hat as he entered. "Thanks for the offer Mrs. Scott but I really need to talk to Amber about somethin' important," he said. "I can't stay long."

"How many times have I told you to call me Maggie, Kid. Us Georgians aren't long on formalities." She ushered him into the grandly furnished parlor. "I'll just get Amber for you."

Mrs. Scott left the room, a pleasant smile on her face. She and her daughter had been planning the wedding for a few weeks despite the fact the Kid had never formally asked for Amber's hand. Maggie had the feeling that this was to be the night and wanted everything to be perfect for her daughter. She rushed into the dining room where the girls were laughting over some story of Mr. Scott's. "Amber, Kid's waitin' for you in the parlor. Said he had to talk to you about somethin' important. This is it, darlin'," she said excitedly. "I do believe that Kid intends to propose this very night."

Amber rose quickly, pausing to check her appearance in the hall mirror. It was almost understood that she and Kid would marry sometime soon. The whole town expected it. Her father had even talked to him about becoming a full partner in the ranch which would be part of Amber's dowry. The only thing stopping it all was the lack of a formal proposal. Once he dropped to one knee this evening and she said yes, there would be nothing stopping them from being together. Although she'd formed a shaky relationship with Lou, Louise she corrected herself, the bond between the two riders still concerned her. All her fears would be put to rest in a matter of minutes, however.

She entered the parlor, a beautiful welcoming smile on her face, to find Kid pacing before the firplace. Amber quickly went over to him and embraced him, kissing him tenderly. She noticed he seemed slightly more tense than normal, a little less affectionate, but brushed it off as nerves. "Well, hello to you, Kid. What brings you out all this way?" she greeted him playfully.

He slowly disengaged himself from her embrace, his mind on the reason he'd come. Kid wanted answers and he wasn't leaving until he got them. "Amber I need to know how you found out about Lou's son," he said quietly, his eyes boring into hers.

"What?" Amber asked, confused. "Is that what you came out here for--to ask me about Lou's son?" Disappointment and heartache blended into a dull knot of pain that had formed in her chest. Her throat tightened as she fought to control the stinging teary sensation in her eyes. I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, she thought.

"Yeah," he replied, taking her hand gently. Kid was more than willing to give her the chance to explain why she lied to Lou. "See Lou told me you said that I told you about Jon. Now, I know I've never mentioned him to you because Lou asked me to keep him a secret. I want to know how you found out and why you felt the need to lie."

Nervously, Amber pulled away and began wiping at the dust on the hearth. She couldn't look into those blues eyes that saw so much and lie to him. "I didn't lie," she protested. "You told me about him once, but you must've forgotten."

"I haven't forgotten anythin'," Kid said his voice beginning to become defensive. "How did you find out Amber?"

She began to feel trapped, trapped in her own lie. Amber searched her brain for any way out. "I don't remember."

Kid grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "Stop lyin' to me, Amber! How did you find out? Do you have any idea what your one lie has cost me? It may just as well have cost me one of the best friends I ever had."

With his fingers biting painfully into her arm and his eyes demanding an answer, Amber felt her will give way to his, tears beginning to leak from her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kid! I'm so sorry. I never meant to lie. I never meant to hurt anyone or find out the way I did but I did and when I mentioned Jon I had to think of a reason as to how I'd know about him," she admitted.

"How?"

"That day you came back from your run and I was already there, I had come by to see you and everyone was gone. So, I let myself in to leave a note. My curiosity got the best of me and I looked through her trunk. I found that saloon dress and a photograph of her and Johnathan. I put it right back and I never told a soul Kid but her, honest I didn't."

Kid was stunned and angry. This woman he'd trusted and cared about had not only lied to Lou and him but had gone through Lou's things as well. And to top it all off, she'd gotten him in on her games and started the whole horrible argument he'd had with Lou. At that moment, he realized that the charade of his relationship with Amber Scott had gone too far. She'd almost cost him his relationship with Lou. What did he see in her anyway? Amber certainly wasn't the woman he'd thought she was or hoped she'd become with him. He knew who he longed to be with, if he could only muster the courage to tell her, and Amber was the roadblock keeping them apart.

"Maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore," he said softly.

Amber looked at him quickly with hurt eyes. "You don't mean that, Kid," she said. "I'm sorry. We can work past this can't we? I'm a different person than I was then. I love you."

Kid crossed to her and cupped her cheek gently, pain in his own eyes. "The problem is that I don't love you, not the way you deserve it anyway. I thought I did but I don't and I can't lie to you, I won't lie to you. I think we both hoped we could change certain things about each other and that just ain't workin'," he said. "I will never be the man you want me to be. You may be able to become the woman I need but it wouldn't be bein' true to the person you already are. You're sweet and good hearted, but just because a person's sweet don't mean you should marry them."

Amber covered his hand with hers and squeezed it. "But we could make it work, Kid. My parents got married with less between them and they grew to love one another. We could too," she said desperately.

"That's where we're different, Amber," Kid replied. "I don't want to have to learn to love my wife. I want to marry her because I love her more than life, more than the air I breathe. I want to marry her because I can't live without her."

She looked down, her tears falling slowly down her cheeks. "And you feel that way about Lou--uh Louise."

"Yeah, I do," Kid admitted. Admitting his feelings for Lou to Amber brought a weight careening off his shoulders that he'd never realized was there. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face feeling guilty even as it emerged.

Amber caught the smile out of the corner of her eye. There was a relief and comfort, a true happiness there as he admitted his love for Lou that had never been there when he'd thought about Amber. As much as her heart was breaking in pain and embarassment, she couldn't bring herself to wish him ill. Kid was doing nothing but being honest with her. He'd treated her well, always had even when she'd flirted with other men and lead him on. She took a deep breath and felt a resolve forming as she exhaled slowly. Standing straight, she looked him square in the eye as she said, "Then you should tell her. You should be with her if she makes you happy."

Kid leaned forward and placed a kiss on Amber's forehead. "Thank you," he whispered. He hugged her close thankful that she hadn't screamed at him or thrown things. "If it helps any, I know he's out there--the guy for you."

"If you see him, you know where to send him," she quipped back weakly. Kid began to walk away but turned as she called his name. "Tell Lou I said she's one lucky lady."

He smiled broadly, his cheeks pinkening slightly at her praise. "I will," he replied.

Amber watched him leave, oblivious to the comforting murmurings of her mother who steered her to the setee and held her tight. "Love means you put someone else's needs before your own," she whispered in an echo of Rachel's words the day before. Now she understood what they meant.

Under cover of darkness, Creeping Fox stole out of the back door to the marshal's office. The deputy had been easy to fool. He'd complained that the steak he had for dinner was too tough and Barnett had easily been talke into loaning him a knife to cut it. However, he'd underestimated the Indian's desire to escape and fulfill his job. As Barnett had approached the cell with the knife, Creeping Fox had reached through the bars and grabbed the utensil, using it to slit the simpleminded deputy's throat. He had rifled the man's pockets until he found the key to his cell and opened it, slipping out the back door.

Madison was on his way to Seneca by now if not already there thanks to a little note Creeping Fox had sent to his employer shortly before encountering the territorial marshal. If he could get to Seneca and kidnap the child, Louise McCloud and Charlotte Rowan would not be far behind.

The Indian couldn't understand Madison's fascination with the petite Miss Louise. True, she and her friend had killed his partner but that had only been beneficial to him. They had also stolen a good bit of money that Madison had stood to inherit. However, Creeping Fox believed that his employer had another more base motivation for the effort he'd put forth to find the girl. Madison was the one man other than Wicks to ever share a bed with Miss Louise. She'd fascinated him like all beautiful, spirited things did and Creeping Fox knew that Madison had an intense desire to possess her and bend her will to his own.

Creeping Fox heard a shout and threw himself into the small, dark space between two buildings. The deputy's body must have been found he surmised. Carefully, he made his way to the livery. He must leave Sweetwater before someone returned from the Pony Express station with that Marshal Hunter and his men.

Chapter 13
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