AND JILL CAME TUMBLING AFTER

Teaspoon kept Jimmy in the cell for the next two days, more out of frustration than because of any crime that had actually been committed. Those two days may very well have been the most important in immy's life: he had nothing to do but lay on his bunk and think. Teaspoon had cut him off from the outside, barring the family from visiting, never going near the cell unless he was delivering Jimmy his meals. He was silent on these occasions, and the silence was bestowed with disheartened eyes and a head shaking in disappointment. At last, Jimmy felt shame.

On the second day, at suppertime, Teaspoon came to stand before the cell again, and this time he spoke. "Thought you might like to know: I fined Phillips and his crew thirty dollars each for disturbin' the peace, and sent 'em on their way. They should be halfway to Sallierville by now, and they been warned against comin' back."

Jimmy nodded. "That's good to know."

"I thought you might also like to know that they stopped by Kid and Lou's on their way out, and Phillips didn't succeed at knockin' Jack's teeth out, but he sure made 'em rattle."
Jimmy shot to his feet. He clutched the cold iron bars between his hands and stared at Teaspoon. "What are you sayin'?"

"I'm sayin' that bastard don't forget a grudge."

"Is she all right?" Jimmy asked urgently. "If she's not all right --"

Teaspoon held up a hand. "Calm down, son, she's all right. She's got a nasty bruise on her face, but she's fine."

"And Phillips?"

"Ridin' hell for leather a few fingers short." Teaspoon chuckled in morbid delight. "Kid shot at his hand."

"I shoulda been there."

"If you're gonna start with your 'I shoulda done this' and 'I should done that', I'm gonna leave again. Boy, ain't you ever gonna learn that it don't do no good thinkin' of what you *coulda* done to change what's already *been* done?!" He paused to catch his breath. "I was supposed to have gone out yesterday for supper. If I had, I probably coulda stopped Phillips, too. But I wasn't there, and I didn't stop him."

"That's different!"

"HOW IS IT DIFFERENT?" bellowed Teaspoon.

Jimmy blinked at the volume and force of Teaspoon's voice.

"You tell me how it's different, Jimmy! You got some notion that all the world's burdens gotta be restin' on your shoulders, and let me tell you somethin': they *don't*! You're responsible for your own actions, not the turn other people's lives take! We all affect the people around us, but we'd drive ourselves crazy thinkin' of all the things we could take the blame for." He sat down on the chair opposite Jimmy's cell and leaned forward.

"Let me tell you a story, son: just after the Express started, a young boy approached me in the street, wantin' to join up. He looked like a nice, dependable young fella, but I already had you, Ike, Cody, Buck, Kid, and Lou, and I didn't need no more help. He begged and he pleaded, told me how much he needed the pay, but I had to say no. I just didn't need him. So he went away. He went away and decided to rob the DuBois ranch. Ray DuBois shot and killed him in the middle of his attempt. Now...was that my fault?"

Jimmy shook his head, and seated himself on the bunk behind him. "No, it wasn't your fault. He made a stupid decision, it wasn't nothin' to do with you. He weighed his pros and cons and figured it was the best thing for him."

"True enough," acknowledged Teaspoon. "But you could also say that if I had given him the job he needed when he asked me for it, I coulda saved that boy's life. I coulda saved Ray DuBois the horror of killin' a man. And I did blame myself for a while. I couldn't work out how it couldn't *not* have been my fault. And then I started thinkin'...who knows what circumstances brought that boy to me in the first place? Maybe a girl turned down his proposal of marriage and he decided to run away -- do we blame her because he couldn't take the rejection? Maybe his pa was a thief -- is it his fault? I know your situation ain't exactly the same, Jimmy, but there was no way you coulda seen that fire comin'. No one coulda. Hell, we still don't know what caused it. And who's to say it wouldn't have happened another day? It
could just as easily have been Rachel, or Lou, or me...or you." Jimmy was silent. Teaspoon exhaled slowly and stood up, stretching his tired limbs. "I'm through sermonizing, as you boys like to call it. There's someone here to see you."

Jimmy's heart lifted and began thumping against his chest. "Is it Jack?"

But Teaspoon had disappeared through the door and didn't answer. Jimmy waited hopefully, eyes glued to the doorway. He had heard the voices of his family over the past two days, as they asked to see him and Teaspoon turned them down. He had heard Lou, Kid, Cody, Rachel, and Buck. But he had never
heard the soft, distinctive sound of Jack's voice, no matter how much he willed it.

A few moments later Ken walked into the room. His eyes were heavy with sadness at seeing Jimmy behind bars. "Hello, son," he said. 'Son'. That hit Jimmy hard. The same way it hit him when Teaspoon said it.

He cleared his throat. "Hey, Ken."

"Teaspoon says I can take you home today."

"Really?"

"Do you not want to come home?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You don't sound all that enthusiastic."

"I'd like to see Jack again," Jimmy answered quietly.

"Well, she'd certainly be pleased to see you."

Jimmy snorted. "You think so?"

"I know so. Jimmy, my daughter loves you."

"I don't see why she should."

"A wise man once said, 'In the world you may only be one person, but to one person you may be the world'. Well, to my daughter you're the world."

Tears stung Jimmy's eyes. "I'm sorry I let everyone down."

"Ah, Jimmy, you're too hard on yourself. Everybody has their own way of dealing with grief. Your way was the wrong way, but I can hardly fault you for that, son; we all make mistakes."

"She means everything to me, sir. I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to earn her forgiveness."

"You're on the right track, although I doubt you'll have to try very hard. Jack's never been one to hold out forgiveness. She's rather soft-hearted." Ken grinned wryly.

"She is, isn't she?" smiled Jimmy.

They both stood.

"I'll go get Teaspoon to let you out." Ken stopped at the doorway and turned around. "Oh, and Jimmy? One more thing: if you hurt her again I'll have you horsewhipped. That's a promise." He flashed Jimmy a smile and winked as he went.

Teaspoon unlocked the cell, and Jimmy tasted the kind of freedom only a man released from a cell can taste. He stepped out and felt the sun on his skin again, felt the wind and smelled the sweet, crisp smell of autumn on the way. He smiled at Ken sheepishly. "Guess I forgot how good it feels to be in the outside world."

Ken laughed and patted his shoulder. "It will come back to you. Now let's get you on over to see that daughter of mine."

The ride to Kid and Lou's was silent. Ben and Hannah met them at the door, clambering eagerly to be the first to welcome Uncle Jimmy back. Adam hung back, standing behind his mother, peeking out from around her skirt. He regarded Jimmy with big, untrusting eyes, his thumb jutting out from his baby mouth. Jimmy's heart twisted.

He knelt down by Lou's waist and waited for Adam to poke his head out again. When he did, Jimmy said, "Hey there, partner."

Adam didn't reply. His brown eyes, so like Lou's, were skeptical at the familiar, reassuring tone.

"You're still pretty mad at me, aren't you?"

Adam nodded. "Why'd you yell at me, Uncle Jimmy?"

"I'm sorry, little guy," he sighed in answer. "I was in a bad mood and I took it out on you. That was wrong, and I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

There was a thoughtful pause from the child. Then another nod, firm, followed with a radiant smile. "I forgive you, Uncle Jimmy." Then he threw his small arms around Jimmy's neck, hugged him quickly, and bounced off into the yard after his brother and sister.

When he rose to his feet again, still feeling the glow of Adam's affection, Jimmy was face to face with Lou. He had never seen her look quite so unyielding. He knew he had to do whatever he could to placate her.

"Lou..." he began.

She held up a slim hand to ward off anything further. "It's gonna take me a while to forgive you, Jimmy. Not only did you break Jack's heart, you hurt my son."

His heart sank again. Ken sensed the intimacy of the moment and quietly stole away, hoping that Lou's forgiveness would not be hard won. Jimmy had all Ken's sympathy.

"I know. I'm sorry, Lou. That's all I can say: I'm sorry."

"Your actions will speak louder than your words."

"I know."

She relented immediately. It was hard for her to stay angry with any of the boys, she loved them all so much. "C'mere, you big lug." She gestured for him to come closer, and when he had, she took his head between her hands, bending it forward, and kissed his forehead softly. "Go on now, and find that girl a'yours. She's out in the back."

He found Jack seated on the swing that Kid had installed on the back wraparound porch. Her face was turned away from him, looking out toward the spread of land and hills as she pushed her feet to the floor and swung back and forth. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her hair blowing haphazardly around her face with the breeze the swing created. When she heard his footsteps on the wooden floor, she turned.
Jimmy gasped. A horrible, purplish-red bruise covered the left side of her face from her mouth to her cheek. She flinched when she saw him. She had grown thinner since Maddy's death, her skin drawn sharply against her bones, her cheeks hollow. There was a yellowish tint laying underneath her pale
complexion. Her eyes were huge and wounded.

"God, I must look a sight," she whispered, pulling her shawl closer around her shoulders. She turned away again.

He quickly crossed the porch and sat beside her. He grasped her shoulders in his hands. "What did he do to you?"

She shrugged. "He tried to remind me of what he'd done to me before, but Kid stopped him before he could."

Jimmy remembered finding her in New York all those years ago, the cuts that had healed into scars that were still visible, the slight limp she had never gotten over even now. Not to mention the damage to her self-confidence. And all because she had made one man look foolish -- at least in his own mind.

"I shoulda been..." Jimmy stopped himself. Then he said carefully, "I *wish* I had been there to protect you, Jack."

She tried to smile bravely, but within seconds her face crumpled and she began to cry. "I wish you had been there too, Jimmy. I was so scared!" He gathered her into his arms and she cuddled close to him, her face against his chest. "I never expected to see him again, and then there he was! I couldn't believe it!" She clutched folds of his shirt in her hands and wept.

Jimmy said nothing until her sobs had quieted, just stroked her long, dark hair as gently as he could, and cradled her in his arms. Finally she sat up, her face streaked with tears, her eyes bright. She smiled shakily. "It's been a hard two months, Jimmy."

He nodded. "The worst." He touched tentative fingers to the bruise that marred the paleness of her skin.
She winced slightly. He withdrew his hand. "No, no, it's all right," she insisted. "It feels nice having you touch me again..." She flushed.

"I've missed you," he whispered thickly.

"I thought you didn't want me anymore," she admitted.

"Why would you think that?" He waited, knowing the answer Jack sighed. "You stayed away for so long. You hardly looked at me when you were here...lots of things, Jimmy."

He brushed his thumb across the cheek that remained unblemished. "I messed up, sweetheart. I don't have a better explanation than that."

"You blamed yourself for what happened."

He raised his eyebrows. "Why would you think that?" he asked again. She smiled and ran her fingers through his thick hair. "I know you, Jimmy.I can read your thoughts just by looking into your eyes."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you so much," he teased.

She was tentative. "So you do still love me?"

"More than anything in the world."

"I need you, Jimmy," she replied simply. "You have to help me through this. I have to go on living, and I need your help to do that, otherwise I'll slip. It's too easy right now to just give up. Will you help me, Jimmy?"

"I seem to recall askin' to help you for the rest of my life."

"I'll take that as a yes, then?"

"Take that as an absolutely."

They sat together, Jack leaning back into Jimmy's arms, until the sun set down over the horizon and Lou called them into supper.

CHAPTER 1 ¤ CHAPTER 2 ¤ CHAPTER 3 ¤ CHAPTER 4 ¤ CHAPTER 5 ¤ CHAPTER 6 ¤
CHAPTER 7 ¤ CHAPTER 8 ¤ CHAPTER 9 ¤ CHAPTER 10 ¤ CHAPTER 11 ¤ CHAPTER 12 ¤ CHAPTER 13 ¤ CHAPTER 14

TO BE CONTINUED...