For Better Or For Worse
a story by Dana
© Dana 2000
Chapter 6
Louise took her time heading back to the waystation. She felt better after pouring out her heart to Noah. She also felt better knowing there was some explanation for her hateful attitude of late. She pitied the poor souls at the waystation who’d had to endure her wrath, since she knew she could be downright wicked sometimes. She smiled and reminded herself to ask Emily if she’d acted the same way early in her pregnancy. Funny how things work, Lou thought. Now we have something else in common!
Kid was pacing the porch of the house and as soon as he saw his wife, he dashed out towards her, his eyes full of worry. He wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let her go. "Louise?" he asked. "Are you okay? Where’ve you been? What happened?"
"Kid," Louise said, trying to calm him, "I’m fine. I just took a little walk and lost track of the time is all."
"But what about the doctor?" Kid continued. "What’d he say?"
"I ain’t dyin’, if that’s what you’re worried about," she said softly.
"But..." he persisted.
"Kid, we’ll discuss it after supper, along with your news," she said. "Okay?" she asked, grabbing his hand and heading up the stairs of the porch.
"Okay," he replied, thinking he probably wouldn’t each must so they could leave the table that much sooner.
Louise and Kid walked into the kitchen, both pleased to see Buck and Emily were actually having a conversation, if somewhat awkwardly. The ride musta helped, Kid thought to himself, considering he was usually on the receiving end of advice, not the giving end. Teaspoon was going on about the roof of the bunkhouse still not being fixed, and Rachel was making final preparations for the evening meal.
"Louise!" Rachel looked up and gasped. "What have you done to yourself? You’re a mess!"
Lou looked down and realized her dress was filthy from sitting in the dirt at the graveyard. She had mud on her face where the dirt had mixed with her tears as she wiped them away.
"Sorry, Rachel, I’ll go wash up," Lou said apologetically. She rushed upstairs to change and wash her face before Rachel’s meal got cold. Looking in the mirror, she realized how awful she looked. No wonder Kid had been so panicked!
Back at the table, Louise made a conscientious effort to eat, now that she knew she was eating for two, but she still had no appetite. As soon as was politely possible, Kid grabbed her hand and asked Rachel if he could spare her from the supper clean-up. Rachel gave her blessing, knowing the newlyweds had important issues to discuss. It’s been a long time comin’, she thought.
Lou followed Kid out on to the porch and they sat down on the steps. It was a beautiful evening, with a light breeze and a full moon. They sat in silence for a bit holding hands until Kid couldn’t stand it anymore. "So tell me, what’d the doctor say?"
"No, Kid. I want to hear your news first," Lou replied. "You’re the one who suggested this conversation this mornin’ in the first place. You should go first."
He hadn’t been expecting that, but he was prepared after all his practice speeches during his recent rides. "Okay, I’ll go. But you can’t interrupt."
"You always say that," Louise responded, thinking of his last marriage proposal.
"That’s ‘cause you always do!" he exclaimed. "Now do you want me to go or not?"
"Go ahead," she said, afraid of what she was about to hear.
"Well I’ve been riding a lot lately, and it’s given me some time to think," Kid began. "I decided I’m not going. I’m not gonna go back to Virginia. I mean, I helped Jimmy free Isaiah Burke and the slaves, and I’ve realized that no matter what anyone says or how I try to justify it, this war is about slavery, not just states rights. It just ain’t right for one man to own another simply ‘cause his skin’s a different color. Besides, with Cody bein’ in the army and all, if I fought I could end up aimin’ a gun at him. He’s like a brother to me, big mouth and all, and I just couldn’t do it. And Noah, well, I couldn’t betray him by fightin’ either." Kid stopped, breathless from finally being able to get his bottled up feelings out in the open.
Lou was astounded. She was sure that Kid would have decided to return to Virginia to fight. She couldn’t believe her ears. It was too good to be true! Does he really mean what he’s sayin’? "But what about the talk we had after Doritha died?" she asked. "You said you’d leave me to defend your memories."
"It was a stupid thing to say Lou, and I never should have," Kid responded. I wasn’t thinkin’ straight. I didn’t realize what that meant. Memories are in your head...no one can take them from me. I want Virginia to be exactly the way I remember it, not some place filled with bloody bodies and battlefields. I have memories here now, too...memories with you. Those are more precious to me than anything in Virginia. I love Virginia, Louise, but I love you more. Besides, I promised you when I proposed that I’d never ride without you, and I can’t take you there. Our home is here, in the west."
Lou’s eyes filled with tears of joy. She clung to Kid and wept weeks of worry and fear into his chest. She hadn’t been this happy since their wedding day. "I love you, Kid," she whispered. "Thank you. Thank you so much." They held each other before Kid began kissing her softly, then with intense passion. Finally they pulled apart and Louise wiped Kid’s tears from his cheeks.
Kid continued, "But I don’t think we should stay in Rock Creek, either. There’s too much war talk and drifters ridin’ through. It just don’t seem safe. ‘Sides, the Express’ll be closin’ soon, and we could make a fresh start. I was thinkin’ we could go back to Sweetwater, where we began -- if that’s okay with you o’ course. Maybe start a horse ranch or somethin’."
"It sounds perfect," Lou replied. "But what about Emily, Kid? She can’t stay in Rock Creek, neither. It’d be too hard for her with no husband. You know how folks ‘round here are."
"She can come with if she wants," Kid conceded. "Folks there won’t know she and Ike never married. I’ll have to find us a big enough place, ‘cause I’m guessin’ you’ll want Jeremiah and Theresa to join us, too. I was thinkin’ of ridin’ out day after tomorrow to see if there’s anything for sale. I’d like you to come, too, if you want."
He’s really thought this all out, Louise smiled to herself. "I’d love to join you, Kid, but the doc says Emily’s baby’ll be here any day. I should be here for her," silently realizing she couldn’t ride all the way to Sweetwater in her own condition.
Remembering the day’s occurrences, Kid took hold of Lou’s arms and asked, "And what’d he say about you?"
Louise bowed her head and smiled. She wasn’t sure how to phrase her announcement. Any way she said it, Kid’d be shocked and speechless. "Well," she began.
Suddenly, three shots rang out in the cool night air. It sounded like they’d come from the saloon. Kid knew he had to go wake Teaspoon and that the half-asleep marshall would need back-up. He looked at Lou desperately.
"Go, Kid," Lou said, understanding her husband’s deep sense of duty and honor.
"But what about...?" he answered.
"It’s nothin’ that can’t wait another day," she told him. "Go make sure everything’s okay."
Kid raced in to wake Teaspoon, and returned dragging the half sleeping marshall behind him. "Fella can’t even get hisself a good nap no more in this town," Teaspoon complained.
"Be careful, you two," Lou called after them. Then she headed into the house to see if Rachel needed any help.
A few hours later, Louise heard the bedroom door open and breathed a small sigh of relief knowing Kid was home safe. She could sense he was taking extra care to be quiet as he undressed, thinking she was already asleep. Lou rolled over and softly said, "So everything’s okay?"
Kid turned, startled to see his wife still awake. He looks exhausted, she thought. He hadn’t had a good night’s rest in ages, between worrying about her and the extra runs and chores he’d been doing around the station. "Just a bunch of drunk gamblers," he replied disdainfully. "Teaspoon’s got ‘em locked up ‘til mornin’ and then their s’posed to leave town." Kid climbed into bed next to his beloved wife, still barely believing that they were actually married. "Can you tell me your news now?" he begged.
Louise had decided to do something very special for her announcement to her husband. She planned to take him down to "their" pond for a picnic, since she figured that’s where their child had been conceived. She’d present him with a small baby item and wait to see the look on his face -- she knew it would be priceless. She wanted to share the moment with her beloved Kid in private, without interruptions. "Kid, you’re tired. It’ll wait ‘til tomorrow, I promise."
Kid conceded, suddenly aware of how weary he was. Lou nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck, kissing him softly. "I love you, Kid," she murmured. "Thank you again for stayin’ with me."
"I love you, Louise," he responded. "And I’ll never leave you. Never." He kissed her forehead and wrapped his strong arms around her tiny frame as the two young lovers fell into a deep sleep.
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