For Better Or For Worse
a story by Dana
© Dana 2000
Chapter 5
Meanwhile, the three women had arrived at the doctor’s office. Rachel jumped off the buckboard to secure the horses and Lou climbed down, turning to offer whatever assistance she could to the very pregnant Emily. Fortunately, Emily made it down safely, commenting to Louise, "I’m gettin’ more graceful everyday, don’t ya think?"
Lou had to smile. She could tell Emily was making an attempt to bond with her. Louise knew Emily had never had a close female friend, with all the moving around she’d done with her gambling father. Maybe I’ll be that friend, Louise thought. She’d always wanted a woman friend her own age to share secrets and dreams with, things a man just wouldn’t understand.
Rachel had already gone inside the office to explain Emily’s delicate and confidential issue, and unbeknownst to Lou, she also asked the doctor to take a look at her, too. Lou and Emily walked around the buckboard and Lou grabbed Emily’s hand to help her up the stairs. Halfway up, Lou’s boot caught the front of her skirt and she tripped, nearly dragging Emily down with her. Luckily, the building’s porch support beam was within reach and she was able to catch herself. "Emily!" Lou cried. "You okay? God, I’m so sorry!" Dammit! she thought. You’d think I’d never worn one of these things before!
A surprised Emily answered, "I’m fine, Louise. How ‘bout you? You okay?"
"Guess I’m pretty graceful, too," Lou answered sarcastically. "Only I don’t have the excuse you do -- I’m just a clutz!"
The girls began giggling at the thought of how they must have looked as they entered the doctor’s office.
"Somethin’ funny?" Rachel asked as they entered.
The girls tried to contain their laughter. "No, nothin’ important," Emily answered, grinning at Lou. Lou just smiled slyly at Emily. Louise realized that they were in fact, quite similar. Both had struggled to find their place in the wild, untamed west and had faced tragedies that eventually gave them courage and a strong sense of self. They were stubborn, opinionated, yet very loving and understanding with open, giving hearts. I think we’ll be good friends after all, she thought.
Lou and Rachel sat down to wait as Emily followed the doctor into his examining room.
"I was thinkin’ we should stop by Tomkins’ and pick out some fabric to make Emily some baby things," Rachel said. "I don’t think we have much time ‘til the little one arrives, but with the three of us workin’, we should be able to have a good supply on hand by the time it’s born."
"Sounds fine," Louise responded.
The women sat a while longer before Lou stood up and began pacing the floor. She suddenly needed fresh air, but knew she should stay put since Emily and the doctor should be finished soon.
"Louise," Rachel said nervously, fearing her plan was about to unravel, "What’s your problem?"
"I just hate doctor’s offices," she said. "They smell funny and they make me nervous."
"It’s just his medicines is all," Rachel explained. "Please sit down. You’re makin’ me nervous. Besides, it shouldn’t be long now."
Lou sat, and sure enough, the doctor’s exam room door opened and Emily appeared, looking anxious. "He says any day now," she announced nervously. She wasn’t sure she was ready for this. And she desperately wished Ike could be with her, but of course, that couldn’t be.
Louise stood up, ready to escort Emily outside, but she turned abruptly as the doctor addressed her. "Ready, Miss Louise?" he asked.
"Fer what?" she questioned.
"I heard you haven’t been feeling too well lately and thought I’d take a look at you, too."
"I’m fine," Lou retorted, heading for the door as the doctor shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows at Rachel. Rachel beat Lou to the exit, blocking her way out. "Rachel!" Lou yelled impatiently.
"Louise, we both know you ain’t been yourself for a while now. It won’t hurt to have the doc take a look at you," Rachel insisted.
"I’m fine!" Lou repeated. "Please let me out of here!" she demanded.
"Louise," Rachel replied in a tone meaning she meant business, "You are not leaving this office until the doctor takes a good look at you. If you don’t care about yourself, that’s your business. But Kid’s worried, and if you love him like you claim you do, you’ll do it for him."
Lou’s brow furrowed in confusion. Then she realized the two of them had planned this whole affair and she was furious. How dare they discuss me behind my back! she raged. Kid’s gonna get an earful, she determined. That’s if I talk to him at all!
Realizing she’d been double-teamed and had no way out, she gave Rachel a good, long glare, turned and stomped into the exam room. The doctor followed, closing the door behind him. Rachel looked triumphantly at Emily, who was embarrassed at witnessing Louise’s outburst. They sat down to await Lou’s return.
Lou was fuming as she climbed up on the doctor’s exam table. He asked her what she thought were stupid questions and she answered him curtly. As he began his examination, Lou calmed down and began hoping he’d find something to explain her nasty mood swings and recent exhaustion. The doctor turned from Louise to write some notes and then said, "Louise, there’s a simple explanation for all this, and it should clear up in a bit."
"What’s that mean?" Lou asked quizzically.
"Louise, you’re expecting a baby. Seems like you’re about three months along or so," he explained.
Lou did some quick math in her head. She and Kid had only been married six weeks or so. That meant she’d been pregnant on her wedding day. She figured the doctor realized this too, and she blushed furiously. The boys had teased her about havin "little ones" and she knew that one day they’d come along. But already? Suddenly, she turned ghost white. Even if Kid wants to, I know he’d never leave to fight now, she thought. He’ll end up resenting me for keeping him here when he wants to fight for Virginia. What am I gonna do? I can’t tell him yet, especially if he decides to leave!
The doctor asked Lou if she had any questions, but she just shook her head, still in shock at hearing the news and wondering how she’d deal with it. She climbed down off the exam table, shook the doctor’s hand and quickly exited the inner room. Rachel and Emily stood up, realizing it was time to go. Rachel gasped when she noticed Lou’s pale face. "Louise?" she asked. "Everything okay?" What if Kid’s right? she wondered, hoping it was nothing serious.
Louise just nodded and rushed out of the office for a breath of fresh air. She felt like she was going to be sick.
Rachel looked to the doctor for some explanation, but he told her simply, "She’s got to tell you herself. I can’t do it for her."
Rachel thanked him and said simply, "We’ll prob’ly be seein’ you again real soon," referring to Emily. Then she and Emily left and joined Lou on the porch.
"Lou, honey," Rachel asked, "Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?"
"Not yet, Rachel," Louise replied quietly. "Do you mind if I just walk home and not go to Tomkins’ with you?"
"Sure, honey," Rachel replied, her concern apparent. "Do whatever you have to."
Rachel climbed up into the buckboard and Lou did her best to help Emily, painfully aware that she’d have to be just as careful now, too. She handed the reins to Rachel.
"Louise?" Rachel asked again, "You sure you’re gonna be okay?"
"I just need some time alone is all," Lou answered, walking away.
Lou wandered through town for awhile, past the blacksmith shop where Jesse had worked, and past the jail, hoping Teaspoon was napping, as usual, and wouldn’t see her. She eventually ended up at Noah’s grave. She sat down and softly touched his name on the grave marker. Noah, she thought, things are such a mess since you died! Tears ran down her cheeks and she opened up her heart to the friend she knew couldn’t repeat her secret and fears. She sat there for hours before realizing the sun was beginning to set. Kid would be frantic, especially since she hadn’t returned with Rachel and Emily. She knew Rachel would have told him what happened at the doctor’s office. Lou had made up her mind to wait for Kid’s decision before she made her announcement. If it changed his mind, she had no control over that, but he had a right to know. "I’d better get back," she said to Noah softly. "Thanks for listening."
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